Infidelity can have long-lasting emotional and psychological scars. For some, the emotional distress following infidelity can lead to a condition known as Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD). Post-infidelity stress disorder is not universally experienced by everyone who has been affected by infidelity. However, understanding the deep psychological impact of betrayal can provide clarity while navigating this difficult experience. Let’s take a look at the common symptoms of PISD, rebuilding after infidelity, and when to seek professional help.

What is Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder?

Post-infidelity stress disorder (PISD) is a term used to describe the intense emotional and psychological distress that can develop post-infidelity. While this is not a clinical diagnosis, the symptoms that follow the discovery of infidelity often parallel the symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as anxiety, hyperarousal, and flashbacks.

Symptoms of post-infidelity stress disorder:

How the body responds to the trauma of infidelity can manifest in psychological, emotional, and even physical ways. Here are some of the common symptoms associated with PISD.

Psychological:

  • Replaying or “reliving” the betrayal such as intrusive thoughts or flashbacks.
  • Second-guessing yourself, difficulties with decision making.
  • Hypervigilance of other people’s actions.
  • Anxiety, depression, anger, hopelessness.

 

Emotional: Avoidance and emotional numbing are common following the discovery of infidelity. Other emotional symptoms include: 

  • Rage.
  • Despair.
  • Shame.
  • Isolation.
  • Sadness

 

Physical:  Experiences of infidelity have been linked to physical symptoms such as: 

  • Interrupted sleep patterns.
  • Insomnia.
  • Fatigue.
  • Headaches.
  • Appetite changes.
  • Hormone imbalances.

Rebuilding After Infidelity

The recovery and rebuilding stages following the discovery of infidelity requires time, commitment to healing, and patience. Whether you’re looking to repair your relationship, or rebuild yourself, there are steps you can take to start your journey. Here are a few: 

Acknowledgement: Acknowledging and validating the pain caused by the infidelity is critical to healing. Explore your feelings and identify your triggers and validate your experiences. If you and your partner are looking to rebuild, they will need to validate and acknowledge the hurt as well. 

Communication: If you’re looking to rebuild your relationship, learning to engage in transparent, honest communication is fundamental. Communicating your needs and feelings to your partner requires them to be empathic and validating to what you are sharing.

Boundaries: Whether you’re looking to rebuild your relationship or remain single, boundaries are going to be your foundation. Setting and maintaining clear communication and behavioural boundaries can help rebuild trust over time.

Therapy: Sometimes the weight of rebuilding is too much to carry on our own. In these instances, seeking out counselling might be the right step in making a change. Common therapies used post-infidelity include trauma focused therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, emotionally focused therapy, and couples therapy. 

When to Seek Help

Processing and rebuilding post-infidelity can be challenging to navigate on your own. Here are some signs that you might need to seek help in your journey:

  • Symptoms begin disrupting your daily life.
  • Building trust feels unobtainable.
  • You’re struggling with self-blame, shame, and unhelpful beliefs.
  • Trauma symptoms worse, increasingly mirroring those of PTSD.


If you’re struggling with the aftermath or infidelity, and its impact on your mental health, know that help is available! Contact us to book an appointment or a free consultation call!